Sorry...I just cannot call it Good Friday!

The etymology of the term "good" in the context of Good Friday is contested. Some sources claim it is from the senses pious, holy of the word "good", while others contend that it is a corruption of "God Friday".

According to Wikipedia, Good Friday has also been known as Holy Friday, Great Friday, Black Friday and God Friday. Personally, I'd prefer any of those terms to the one celebrated
mostly by Christians this coming Friday.

 I can certainly understand "good' in association with the events leading up to the
crucifixion of Christ Jesus. There is without question good that resulted from this sacrifice:
the potential salvation for those who would believe in and trust our Lord, in fact, the only
possible way to a lasting relationship with our Holy God, the unbelievable strength and
servitude that allowed Jesus to march to a horrible series of events culminating in His
death, the fulfillment of prophesy and the law and the presentation of the new
covenant between God and those who have been saved by the very blood shed on Calvary.
The very moment of victory over death and over satan would have to be labeled as
good.

Yet, I just cannot wrap my heart around calling what happened to Jesus in all the events
that led up to His death, from even before His arrest to His last most memorable words,
"good." I know that these events were planned even before the beginning of creation,
that they were understood as necessary for the eventual salvation of some and the
judgement of all. I know that the culmination of these events and the Resurrection
resulted in Christ Jesus being the King of all creation, being adored and honored by God
the Father as King of Heaven and Earth. I know the necessity of these events that led
to the Holy Spirit in-dwelling all those in Christ. Yet, I don't know how to get past the
humiliation, the suffering, the anxiety, the pain, the loneliness... you get the picture.

Yes, I will be there in church this Sunday praising God for the Resurrection that
brings the Easter celebration. I will be mindful of the great sacrifice that led to my
sinful soul being reunited with God, undeserved totally on my part, by grace and faith
alone. I will sing the hymns, take the bread and the juice and thank God in my heart for
what He has done.

And yet, in my heart of hearts, deep within my soul, I will mourn for what happened to
my beloved Jesus Christ, totally undeserving of what was asked due to my sin.

How I love you, Jesus. I am so very sorry!