No brilliant lights on the Damascus Road. No walking down to the front of a Billy
Graham revival. No 'moment' when I can remember the instant of conversion. No.
Just a very slow, gradual, almost frightening progression that has become the
focus of a new life and purpose: Jesus Christ!
Beginning with an immersion baptism, joining a small Bible church and progressing
through numerous weeks of Bible reading, Sunday school classes, sermons, books
of various topics, and prayers that certainly began awkwardly, the whole road to really
believing and trusting took a turtle's pace. The one constant was my 'desire' to know
Jesus and to give up sixty years of sin and self-determination. I wanted to know in
my heart that I was saved, that I had faith, that I was re-born.. I wasn't prepared for
the pace that all of it was taking. Once again, I was trying to make things happen that
only God and God's timing could achieve.
Even in the midst of this progression, there were no sudden revelations or changes
that occurred; there was no exact, specific moment when it all came together, there
was no moment of completion..and there still is none. What did happen, as I
understand it, was a growth that followed God's plan and eventually brought about
subtle understanding of the gospel, of my purpose, of my changes. Often times it was
others who seemed to notice progression.
I have talked to some who Do have a moment, an epiphany, a drastic reversal
that they clearly can remember and share, not in my case. God was working
on my faith, understanding, belief at His pace and He is still at work, today,
walking me along the progression to Sanctification.
I no longer question whether I believe, I know that I do. I no longer
feel that I do not know my Savior because I know that I do. I no longer
wonder about the Gospel and its application in my life, I am a sinner
who has been saved by grace, not of my doing but the doing of a Father
God who loves me in spite of myself. I am no longer in a big rush, either.
I am just happy to be on the journey!
Praise our God of Glory!